Listening

“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”  - Douglas Adams

Another semester at school is complete. There have been many valuable lessons beyond the curriculum, sometimes happening so quickly that I couldn’t record them all, nor ponder them.
In my last post, I reflected on “making a practice of listening” as part of establishing balance in life, and as a way of developing focus; listening for the right answers. It is hard to listen when life is making that “whooshing” sound all around us. But, like Douglas Adams found, a sense of humor helps.

In my most difficult situations this semester, it was my sense of humor that carried me through. Although this was not revealed outwardly, not used as a smoke screen; instead, it helped me keep my mind open and my heart light. I was able to listen better in this frame of mind. Being aware of my mental state and actively preparing for listening was also essential. Without a “practice” of listening, I wouldn’t have been able to prepare my mind in this way. Not that I have a regular, frequent practice, but enough of one that I know when my mind is wandering and needs a calm moment for a fresh start. Like during the moments before walking into a meeting that I’d been dreading. A deep breath does wonders for the brain. Try three or four. Or twenty minutes - of just breathing.

There are still many unanswered questions regarding what comes next for me. I am in the process of applying for grad school for my MFA. This is requiring some of the deepest soul-searching I’ve ever done. Filling out forms, writing statements and assembling my portfolio, I am compelled to get to the core of my inclinations - the “truthiness” of it. Why do I feel drawn to this MFA thing? What got me this far, and why do I want to keep going?

Being able to articulate what one feels in the heart or in the gut is the challenge. Listening is the first step. Writing is the next, lots of writing! I wrote a dozen or more versions of my biography before it sounded right. Listening to my peers for their feedback was the next step. They have been honest, constructive, and supportive in the editing process. My gratitude goes out to them. Listening to complete strangers was another step. I took my laptop with my portfolio on it to a National Portfolio Day and selected three colleges to stand in line for, two that I think are a good fit and one that I think is a stretch. Listening to the feedback that the advisors had for me/my portfolio matched my expectations. The next step is to listen to the advice of my professors and advisors for fine-tuning. The final step will be listening to myself for my final decisions, and breathing, then sending off my applications to see what happens.

~Julia